Niclas Thorsteinsson - Musician/Writer

Author: Nic Page 2 of 13

Amiga 600 Incoming

Another vintage computer is heading my way. I bought an Amiga 600 online and it’s being driven from Klaksvík at this very moment. All my Amigas have been either the 500 or the 1200, so it’ll be nice with a cute 600. This will be the 8th Amiga I have ever owned and at present I own two… a 500 and now the 600. I still have all the love in the world for that amazing computer. It was an incredibly brave and creative machine at the time. Your eighth Amiga, you say? Why so many? What happened? Well, The first one I sold due to upgrading to the Amiga 1200. After that I was short on cash etc. But the last three were in an act of profound stupidity. I had collected them in the early 2000s where you could get them for next to nothing, as this was way before the retro computer craze really began. Nostalgia, goddamit you’re powerful. Anyway, the Amigas… I sold them because I was moving to Sweden, into a new apartment with a new girlfriend and felt I had to leave my old life behind and grow up.

Idiotic. Word of advice, if something makes you happy and isn’t harmful to you or others, keep it. The old girlfriend is gone and the Swedish apartment has been sold off and I certainly don’t miss that life, but my love for the Commodore Amiga endures. Oh, and so does my love for my new girlfriend and our great kids. No need to choose. A bit of time management is all that is required.

Computer Repair Man

A friend of mine has an old 2012 MacBook Pro which he wants to give to his mother, if it can be made operational again. It was nearly dead on arrival, but I managed to get it running and and install High Sierra. I am now using OpenCore to install one of the newer macOS’, which is not officially allowed by Apple for a mac this old. I believe in the right to repair, so of course the newer OS’ should be able to work on older macs. Good stuff. Tech is fun.

Elvanse Week 2 – 40mg – Double Dosage

Day 8: I assumed I would feel a little different when I doubled the dosage, but there hasn’t really been much change. Although, I have felt a bit more energetic for the better part of the day. I am not sure if my focus is any better. I’ll need more time and figure that out, I guess.

Day 9: Pretty much the same. No bad side effects from the double dosage whatsoever. There might be a few signs that I’m able to focus better. I’ve had two telephone conversations today, and I seemed slightly clearer and more focused than usual. Of course, this is a Sunday and things are pretty chill today. Sometime in December I will be called in where we’ll discuss the effectiveness of the Elvanse.

Day 10: I’ve felt quite focused today and was motivated to have a productive workday. It went fine. No ill effects from the Elvanse. Still can’t determine whether or not the meds are doing anything.

Day 11-12 Ok, now I would say that I do feel a difference. Despite these last few days being very hectic, I’ve had great focus and energy. Work is easier, conversations flow more naturally and I’ve taken care of quite a lot of unusual things at home. Very good indeed.

Day 13: Poor sleep and a stressful workday, so I haven’t noticed any positive effects today.

Day 14: Stressful day. Trouble at the kindergarten, difficult day at work and on top of that I’m sick. Not the kind of day where you try to determine if your mind altering meds are working or not.

Elvanse Day 6 and 7 – 20mg – No News Is Good News

A thoroughly uneventful day, medicinally wise. We got up, we got the kids ready, drove them to kindergarten, I dropped Annvør off at work, went to work myself and had a fairly ordinary workday, if a bit stressful. Got a lot done. No bad side effects from the Elvanse and no good effects yet either, as far as I can tell. Good good. On day 8 the dosage of Elvanse will double. Will see what happens then.

Day 7: Pretty much the same as yesterday.

Elvanse Day 5 – 20mg – Sleep at Last

Last nigh, I only woke up once and was able to go back to sleep right afterwards. Quite a feat. All in all, it’s been a fine day. Despite quite a bit of stress at work, I was pretty calm and collected.  I haven’t felt any side effects today whatsoever, so it seems I’m adapting to the medicine.

I can’t say what the medicine is doing for me just yet. But I may be a bit more focused. The doc said I wouldn’t feel much on 20mg. On saturday the dose will double.

Elvanse Day 4 – 20mg

Piss poor sleep again, but I feel great. Insomnia is a fairly common side effect of Elvanse, so it’s fine. The chest tightness hasn’t appeared today. Good good. 

Have I noticed any positive effects? Yes, My energy seems better and conversations seem to flow better. My mind usually wanders when talking to people, but that hasn’t really been the case today. At least, I don’t think it has. Feeling cautiously optimistic here.

Elvanse Day 3 – 20mg

I got around 4.5 hours of sleep last night. Our 5 year old woke me up in the middle of the night and I wasn’t able to go back to sleep. Despite that, I have no sign of irritability today (as opposed to yesterday), so hopefully it was just a passing side effect. Also, I’ve felt very little discomfort in my chest today, just a tad bit of tightness, but not like yesterday. Chest tightness is a side effect of the drug and possibly a serious one, which is why I’m focusing on it. But like I said, today is much better than yesterday. Perhaps it was just a bit of anxiety. One can but hope, as I want to be able to take these meds and get the help I need. But of course not at any price. 

Despite my lack of sleep I got through work just fine and enjoyed it. I fix computers now, did I mention that?

Elvanse Day 2 – 20mg – Irritability

Day 2 – I might be feeling a few side effects. I was quite irritable this morning and most of the day, but our kids woke at 6 and decided to create a one day reenactment of World War II, so that might have something to do with it. No, not literally, they’re 3 and 5. 

Anyways, quite a bit of irritability (which is a common side effect, only in the beginning I hope) and I also felt bit of chest tightness on both sides. Not something I usually feel. I will need to tell an adult if it persists. Tomorrow is a work day. We’ll see how that goes. 

Elvanse Day 1 – 20mg

Well, something quite wonderful happened. The wait for medication, which was to last 3-6 months, was cut down to 14 days. They called and said they had an opening due to something or other. I accepted gracefully. So I went and have now received at prescription for Elvanse, which in the States is known as Vyvanse (who comes up with this names?). The active compound is Lisdexamfetamine. The package insert in the Elvanse box is hilarious. It states several times that if I experience these or those symptoms, I must tell an adult straight away. Yep, will do.

Anyway, I will start off with 20mg, which will eventually land on 60mg in three weeks. I thought I’d keep a small diary of my journey. Perhaps it will be helpful to someone and I also need to journal how things are going, since I will be going in for a check in about four weeks.

Day 1. Took my first capsule at 9 this Saturday morning. I chose the weekend in case there were unforeseen events. Elvanse is a stimulant. The doctor said I were to take it at night, I wouldn’t be able to fall asleep. I haven’t felt much different throughout the day and it is now 5 pm and I do notice that I have quite a bit of energy, but that I have also been easily overwhelmed throughout the day. Of course, my piss poor sleep and being half sick might have something to do with that.

I played some Rogue Legacy and it seemed I did quite a bit better than the day before, but who knows? 20mg is a very low dosage, so it’s not really supposed to be doing much yet.

ADHD You Later

It’s been around 10 days since my diagnosis.  There’s a 3-6 months waiting period for medication, but I’ve been told they’re very thorough and keep a watchful eye on how people react to the various types of treatment. In a way, it’s a bothersome time to get the diagnosis, as local papers have been running ADHD articles with a negative undercurrent: ‘ADHD Is Exploding’ (implying that perhaps it’s over-diagnosed) and of course, everyone’s favourite, ‘Kids Selling Their Ritalin on the Streets.’

My mood has been fluctuating lately, but there is definitely a very real hope for change now. Haven’t felt that in some time.  The reason I applied for testing was quite simple: I was tired of not accomplishing my goals. I’ve gone through Plan A, B, C and the rest of the alphabet and things have never really worked out and have always seemed quite a bit harder for me than for others. Which is puzzling, because I’m reasonably well-read and my academic skills and IQ have always been decent (actually, quite a bit more than than decent as the ten IQ tests, that I had to take before my diagnosis, showed). I’ve just had a very hard time focusing when larger projects have to be accomplished. There have definitely been other signs. I was often the Space Cadet in class and I will almost always lose track in a conversation.

Regarding my inability to achieve goals, I mostly assumed it was fear. Creative fear, fear of failure, fear of success… which in the end resulted in depression (due to not achieving), etc. Indeed, I’ve read truckloads of books trying to figure out what the hell was wrong with me and tried coaching, shrinks and wide spectrum of productivity methods, enough to become productivity guru myself, which I’ve no desire to do whatsoever (you said todo). Of course, I “started over” hundreds of times with firm intentions that this time would be better, but after a few weeks or months things seemed to dissolve and I’d forget what I was doing.

Hmm, I went to see a shrink of some local renown about my various problems about ten years ago and after a few sessions I myself mentioned to possibility that I might have ADHD. He replied that he had considered it and he didn’t think I had it and then continued with some treatment which didn’t work.  That little statement has kept me from exploring a possible ADHD diagnosis for years, but when you look at all the symptoms, that was the most likely explanation all along. So that guy did not do me any favors, that’s for sure.

Originally, they tested me for Asperger’s, but that avenue was dismissed fairly early on. I was glad when I heard the diagnosis of ADHD. Now I have something to work with.

Page 2 of 13

Powered by WordPress & Theme by Anders Norén