It’s been around 10 days since my diagnosis.  There’s a 3-6 months waiting period for medication, but I’ve been told they’re very thorough and keep a watchful eye on how people react to the various types of treatment. In a way, it’s a bothersome time to get the diagnosis, as local papers have been running ADHD articles with a negative undercurrent: ‘ADHD Is Exploding’ (implying that perhaps it’s over-diagnosed) and of course, everyone’s favourite, ‘Kids Selling Their Ritalin on the Streets.’

My mood has been fluctuating lately, but there is definitely a very real hope for change now. Haven’t felt that in some time.  The reason I applied for testing was quite simple: I was tired of not accomplishing my goals. I’ve gone through Plan A, B, C and the rest of the alphabet and things have never really worked out and have always seemed quite a bit harder for me than for others. Which is puzzling, because I’m reasonably well-read and my academic skills and IQ have always been decent (actually, quite a bit more than than decent as the ten IQ tests, that I had to take before my diagnosis, showed). I’ve just had a very hard time focusing when larger projects have to be accomplished. There have definitely been other signs. I was often the Space Cadet in class and I will almost always lose track in a conversation.

Regarding my inability to achieve goals, I mostly assumed it was fear. Creative fear, fear of failure, fear of success… which in the end resulted in depression (due to not achieving), etc. Indeed, I’ve read truckloads of books trying to figure out what the hell was wrong with me and tried coaching, shrinks and wide spectrum of productivity methods, enough to become productivity guru myself, which I’ve no desire to do whatsoever (you said todo). Of course, I “started over” hundreds of times with firm intentions that this time would be better, but after a few weeks or months things seemed to dissolve and I’d forget what I was doing.

Hmm, I went to see a shrink of some local renown about my various problems about ten years ago and after a few sessions I myself mentioned to possibility that I might have ADHD. He replied that he had considered it and he didn’t think I had it and then continued with some treatment which didn’t work.  That little statement has kept me from exploring a possible ADHD diagnosis for years, but when you look at all the symptoms, that was the most likely explanation all along. So that guy did not do me any favors, that’s for sure.

Originally, they tested me for Asperger’s, but that avenue was dismissed fairly early on. I was glad when I heard the diagnosis of ADHD. Now I have something to work with.