Niclas Thorsteinsson - Musician/Writer

Tag: Goals

How Long Was I Out?  – Coma’s End

I’ve decided to add a bucket list and habit tracker to my blog. I’ve kept track of my goals since the early 90’s and have previously posted a few of them here, but this time around I’ll turn it into something more substantial. The reason being that for the past few years I’ve suffered from anxiety and depression for long periods of time. A state which has turned me into an aimless blob without any sense of direction or drive. There has always been an undercurrent of anxiety in my life, but lately it has really tightened it’s grip, reducing me to someone who’ll sit and absorb ungodly amounts of netflix episodes or play hours upon hours of console games. Anything to take my mind of my mind, I suppose. My current state is a far cry from the Nic who used to read endless books, pound away at the piano, write songs in a state of euphoria and flow, write short stories and release albums. I find little joy in anything except my family and the fact that I’m fairly good at my job and feel like I’m making a difference, however small. For those things I’m very grateful but on the creative and ambitious side nothing comes naturally anymore. Thus it’ll take commitment and hard work and me publically declaring my intentions will hopefully make me work even harder. Of course, it won’t be that public since no one visits this site and I don’t exactly go out of my way to advertise it.
My method will most likely change over time but for now I’ve decided to start small with some habit building. Later I’ll add larger projects and more bucket list type items. I’ve decided to check in once a week.

For Week 1 (this week) I’ll focus on:

  • Project Work – 2 hours I realize that two hours of project work in one week is temporal chump change, but I want to start small and my current work week is pretty hectic. Of course, just putting in hours does not necessarily finish a project, so I’ll add some named projects with deadlines later on. Projects might include songs, short stories… anything creative.
  • Only eat junk food/sugar on saturdays. This is a pact my girlfriend and I made recently in order to become slightly healthier individuals. Exception: When we’re having friends over or the other way around.


So that’ll be the first step of my journey, hopefully I’ll get to those 1000 miles and beyond. Looking forward to add some running, reading, writing and jamming. I’ll also focus on shipping… getting my stuff out there.

2010 – The Year We Make Contact

I have two New Year’s resolutions for 2010:

  1. I intend to get to a place where I can live solely of my own creativity. This means mostly music, but I also have a few other ideas.
  2. I intend to become completely debt-free. I’m battling a rather monstrous mortgage, a student loan and one smaller loan.

I realize these intentions may seem like tall orders, but I’m with Michelangelo on this one:

The greater danger is not that your hopes are too high and you fail to reach them; it’s that they’re too low and you do.” – Michelangelo.

Frightfully good point, I think.

Personally, I think New Year’s resolutions are a bit silly (why not start any time of the year?), but nonetheless I always find myself making them come the end of december. I’m fired up about my resolutions right now, but as experience shows, the challenge is to keep that fire going as “life” happens during the year. We’ll see how it goes. There should be some motivation in keeping this public. Yes yes, I know no one will read this and the few that will, will most likely not give a rat’s ass about what I have to say.

That was a lot of wills.

In any case, Onward, Christian Soldiers.

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